Phil: Pretty solid meat there from Longueur that is saying, of course, that ultimately materialism, in this case the Webb"s Wonder lettuce, need to ruin us all. That was for O. Simon, K. Simon, P. Simon and also R. Sparrow of Leicester. Later on, we"re going to take a look at John Wayne"s latest movie, "Buckets of Blood Pouring Out of People"s Heads" however currently we look ahead. On Tuesday Chris Conger took a BBC film unit to the area where 20th Century Vole are shooting their latest epic "Scott of the Antarctic".

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(Chris Conger standing via back to pier and a couple of holidaydevices behind him.)

Conger: Sea, sand also and sunshine make Paignton the queen of the English Riviera. But for the following six months this sleepy Devonshire retype will certainly be transcreated into the blizzard-brushed up wastes of the South Pole. For this particular day shooting starts on the epic "Scott of the Antarctic", developed by Gerry Schlick. (walks over to Schlick)

Schlick: (Amerideserve to accent) Hello.

Conger: Gerry, you made a decision Paignton as the location for Scott.

Schlick: Right, appropriate.

Conger: Isn"t it a bit of a drawback that there"s no snow here?

Schlick: Well, we have 28,000 cubic feet of Wintrex, which is a brand-new white foam rubber which actually on display looks more favor snow than snow...

(Cut to swarm of people nailing and sticking white foam rubber over points. It looks devastating. Others are paint the sand via white paint.)

Schlick: ... and also 1,600 cubic US furlongs of white paint, via a distinct snow finish.

Conger: And I believe Kirk Vilb is playing the title role.

Schlick: That is correct. We were extremely thrilled and honoured once Kirk agreed to play the component of Lieutenant Scott (reduced to Kirk Vilb who is wearing hair open up at the chest; he is having a chest wig stuck on and icing sugar squeezed on to his nose and also eyebrows) because a star of his magnitude can pick and also pick, yet he read the title and just flipped. (reduced earlier to Gerry Schlick and Chris Conger) And directing we have an extremely fine young British director, James McRettin, who"s been collaborating on the screenplay, of course Jimmy...

(McRettin rushes into foreground. He is in no method favor J. McGrath.)

McRettin: Oh, there you are. Hello. Hello. No difficulty. Have a drink. Have a drink. Great. Hello. Marvellous. Marvellous. Hello. Recompose. Oh this is really good. I suppose, it"s really saying something, do not you think?

Conger: Have you started shooting yet?

McRettin: Yes, yes. Great. Perfect. No, no, we haven"t began yet. No. But great - good.

Conger: What is the first scene that you shoot this morning?

McRettin: Great. Terrific. Oh it"s excellent. No difficulty. We"ll kind it out on the floor. Sort it out on the floor. No problem. This film is basically pro-humanity and also anti-negative things and also it rips aside the hypocrucial facade of our society"s gin and tonic and also leaves a lot of sacred cows rolling approximately in agony, have a drink, have actually a drink.

Conger: But which scene are we shooting first, Jimmy?

McRettin: Yes, good. Oh, marvellous. (calls out) Which scene are we shooting first? What? (to Conger) It"s scene one. Scene one. It"s in the middle of the movie. Well, it is currently. I recreated it. (calls.) I believed we reduced that? Didn"t we cut that?

Schlick: No, we didn"t.

McRettin: We didn"t. Oh great. That"s even better. I"ll put it back in. Recreate. (calling) Scene one"s back in everyone. Scene one"s ago in. Great. Great. (to Conger) This is the scene - outside the tent - it"s all bloody marvelous. It renders you want to throw up.

(Cut to ScMick and also Conger on the beach.)

Schlick: Now in this scene Lieutenant Scott retransforms to camp in the at an early stage morning after walking the huskies to have brunch through the remainder of his team. (reduced to swarm of tent with Bowers, that is babsence, and Oates, sitting outside) Oates, played by your extremely own lovely Terence Lemming, who is an English cockney officer seconded to the US Navy, and also Bowers played by Seymour Fortescue, the Olympic pole vaulter.

(Film: Scott comes approximately them. He has two large boxes strapped to his feet to make him look tall.)

Oates: Hi, Lieutenant.

Scott: Hi, Oatesy. Sure is a beautiful day currently.

McRettin: (rushing in) Great, great.

Scott: What? What are you saying?

McRettin: I was just saying good, great. Cue Evans.

(Sexy girl with lengthy blond hair comes right into swarm via brief pink hair coat. She walks up to Scott that towers four feet above her as she is walking in a trench.)

Schlick: And this is Vanilla Hoare as Miss Evans.

Conger: Miss Evans?

Schlick: Right.

(Miss Evans is now beneath Scott at knee height.)

Scott: Good morning, Miss Evans.

Evans: Oh, I"ve forobtained my line.

McRettin: What"s her line? What"s her line?

(Girl runs in via manuscript.)

Girl: It"s "Good morning, Captain Scott".

Evans: Oh, yeah. "Good morning, Captain." Sc"..; oh, I"m simply not really incredibly happy with that line. Could I simply say Hi Scottie ?

McRettin: Great. Great. Rewrite. Cue.

Girl: Hi Scarrie Oh, sorry. Hi Stocky! Oh - I"m sorry again. Oh, Jim. I"m simply unhappy with this line. Hey, deserve to I execute it all type of kooky, (goes beserk waving hands) prefer this? Hi Scottie!

McRettin: Great! We"ll shoot it.

Scott: Are you certain that"s right?

McRettin: Oh, it"s good.

(Gerry Schlick walks into the swarm.)

Schlick: Jim.

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McRettin: Jim! Jim! Oh, me!

Schlick: Jim, I feel we may be running into some problems right here in the location of height.

McRettin: Great! Where are they?

Schlick: Wright here are who?

McRettin: I don"t recognize. I was gaining perplexed.

Schlick: Jim, I feel below, that Scott may be too tall in the area of elevation with referral to Vanilla who is also close to the ground in the area of being too brief at this time.

McRettin: Great ... Oh, I understand. I"m going to dig a pit for Scott and put a box in Vanilla"s trench.

Scott: Say, why do not I take the boxes off and also Vanilla obtain up out of the trench?

McRettin: It wouldn"t work-related... It"s also better! Great. Rewrite!

Evans: What was that?

McRettin: Oh, it"s simple. I"ve operated it out. Scott takes his boxes off and you don"t stand also in the trench.

Evans: I say my lines out of the trench?

McRettin: Even better. Great.

Evans: But I"ve never acted out of a trench. I can fanywhere. It"s dangerous.

McRettin: Oh well, might you just try it?

Evans: Look, you crumb bum, I"m a star. Star, star, star. I don"t obtain a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, (she walks alengthy in the trench and we see that she has actually two boxes strapped to her feet) and also I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and also I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you desire this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntguy. (walks off) I played Miss Galileo in a groove and also I played Mrs Jesus Christ in a geological syncline, so do not...

McRettin: Great. Great everyone. Lunch currently. Lunch. It"s all in the deserve to. Good morning"s occupational.

Schlick: But you haven"t done a swarm.

McRettin: Just keeping morale up. (tries to take a drink from his watch finder)

(The very same afternoon.)

Schlick: Now this afternoon we"re going to shoot the scene wright here Scott gets off the boat on to the ice floe and he sees the lion and also he fights it and kills it and also the blood goes pssssssssshhh in sluggish motion.

Conger: But tright here aren"t any lions in the Antarctic.

Schlick: What?

Conger: Tright here aren"t any lions in the Antarctic.

Schlick: You"re best. There are no lions in the Antarctic. That"s ridiculous! Whoever heard of a lion in the Antarctic? Right. Lose the lion.

McRettin: Got to save the lion. It"s great!

Schlick: Lose the lion.

McRettin: Great. We"re shedding the lion. Rewrite. Lose the lion everyone. That"s terrific,

Scott: What"s this around our losing the lion?

Schlick: Well, Kirk, we assumed possibly we might shed the fight with the lion a tiny little, Kirk, angel.

Scott: (loudly) Why?

Schlick: Well, Kirkie, doll, tright here are no lions in the Antarctic, baby.

Scott: (shouts) I acquire to fight the lion.

Schlick: It"d be silly.

Scott: Listen, I gotta fight the lion. That"s what that guy Scott"s all about. I understand. I"ve studied him already.

Schlick: But why couldn"t you fight a penguin?

McRettin: Great! (falls over)

Scott: Fight a rotten penguin?

Schlick: It needn"t be a tiny penguin. It deserve to be the greatest penguin you"ve ever seen. An electric penguin, twenty feet high, with long green tentacles that sting world, and you can stab it in the wings and also the blood deserve to go spurting psssssshhhh in slow movement.

Scott: The lion is in the contract.

Schlick: He fights the lion.

McRettin: Even better. Great. Have a drink. Lose the penguin. Stand also by to shoot. (drops over)

Schlick: Where execute they have actually lions?

Conger: Africa.

Schlick: That"s it. Scott"s in Africa. As many kind of lions as we require.

McRettin: Great!

Schlick: He"s searching for a pole no one else knows about. That ties in with the sand also. Right. Paint the sand also yellow aobtain. Okay, let"s acquire this display on the road. "Scott of the Sahara."